It’s NOT Tattling If It’ll Get Someone Out of Trouble
Most of us, especially boys, grew up hearing from parents, siblings, teachers and peers that we should never, ever be a tattle tale. Nobody likes a tattle tale they said!
Later when something serious happens and we never told our parents about it, they ask us, dumbfounded, why we never told them. Their earlier admonitions about being a tattle tale apparently forgotten or expecting that a child should just know when it’s tattling and when it’s not.
It’s up to adults to make the distinction clear to children.
Unless a distinction is made clear to children, a distinction between tattling for fun and telling to prevent a harmful situation, children may keep quiet even when it could be a child’s life on the line.
The Golden Rule of Tattling vs. Telling
Here’s how you explain it to children. Remember: start early and repeat often!
Tattling: if it will only get another child in trouble then it’s tattling, don’t tell me.
If you are being harmed, threatened, or someone is making you feel bad about yourself, it’s important to talk with an adult so they can help you with your situation.
Telling: if it will get you or another child out of trouble then I need to know, tell me.
Both: If it’s both tattling and telling then I still need to know, tell me.
Tattling vs. Telling Examples & Lessons
Example 1: Your brother’s playing in a tree and fell. He’s now on the ground crying.
The answer: both. Your brother may get in trouble, but if he’s seriously hurt then telling will also get him out of even more serious trouble.
Example 2: Your sister isn’t sharing the XBOX / Computer / Etc.
The answer: tattling. Telling will only get your sister in trouble but won’t get anyone out of trouble. It’s best if the child tries to negotiate with their sister and work through it on their own.
Example 3: There’s going to be a fight after school.
The answer: both. Some students might get in trouble but it could also prevent them from getting into even more trouble if a child were to get injured.
